Sesshy's Awkward Moments
by XxLotusxX
Summary: Man, I feel bad for Sesshomaru! Read for a bit of a laugh. Different chapters are actually different short stories. Some are a bit freaky. PLEASE REVIEW! I accept flames.
1. Chapter 1 Crazy Fangirls

**Sesshy's Awkward Moments**

**By: GoldenxEyesxLivexOnxEternally **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE INUYASHA CHARACTERS! They are the property of Rumiko Takahashi.**

**Summary: Man, I feel bad for Sesshomaru. Read for a bit of a laugh! VERY FUNNY!! Different chapters are actually different short stories.**

**Chapter/Story 1. Crazy Fangirls **

* * *

In modern Tokyo, two girls were at the park studying for their science finals. "Hey, Sora, what's hemoglobin?" one asked. 

The girl with black hair and crystal-blue eyes looked at her friend and sighed. "Honestly, Kiri, do you listen in health class? It's right here, in the text book."

Kiri gave Sora a hurt expression. "I do listen!" She added under her breath, "When I'm not looking at the pictures of Sesshomaru I carry in my pocket."

Sora heard the little comment and knew just how to bribe her buddy into getting good grades. "Kiri, try listening in science class and maybe you will someday be able to build a time machine and go back to the Fuedal Era to see Sesshomaru."

"You really think so?" Kiri said, hopeful.

"Sure you can, just study a little harder. I admit that I carry pictures of him in my pocket too, but I don't look at them every five seconds,"

Even as Sora said this, Kiri had a picture of Sesshomaru with no shirt on and was staring at it and drooling. "Oh, come on, Kiri! Get a hold of yourself!" Sora said, but Kiri turned the picture around and shoved it in her face.

"Ki... Kiri... put it away before I go nuts!"

"Ha! I knew it! Your obsessed with him too. You know you love him!" Kiri said in a sing-song voice.

Sora shook it off and looked away. "That's not even the real Sesshomaru. It's just a drawing that someone posted on the net!"

"Yeah, but it's sexy." Kiri retorted.

'_Now, that I have to agree with, but I love the REAL Sesshomaru. The one in the show. I love his personality, his looks, the way he thinks... I could go on forever, but I love his fluff! It looks sooooooo soft!' _Sora thought hungrily, trying to get over the fact that he wouldn't love a 16-year-old like her.

Kiri's obsession was more psychotic fangirl-ish, but Sora's was like true love. She found the fact that people calling him 'Fluffy' was extremely insulting, and she loved all his features, not just how sexy he is.

"I'm done studying, are you?"Sora inquired.

"Yeah, I'm finished for now. Don't we have to meet Kagome at the movies anyways?"

"Uh-huh, I'm just gonna call our parents and tell them where we are."

Sora took out her cell and dialed their parents, putting it on speaker. After she and Kiri told them where they were going, and that they might be gone for a while, they left for the theater.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hi, Sora! Hi, Kiri!" Kagome waved, "Change of plans, we're going to my house instead. I want you to meet someone, if you swear to Kami that you'll keep it a secret."

They shrugged. "Okay."

When they arrived at Kagome's place, there was some guy in an old-timey, red men's kimono standing on her porch. He had white hair, but you couldn't see the color of his eyes until you got closer. Sora and Kiri were completely frozen. "Holy sh-" Kiri started to say, but got cut off by Sora's hand on her mouth.

"How is it possible that Inuyasha is standing here?" she asked Kagome hoarsely.

Kagome turned around, smiled nervously, and told them that they must be seeing things, but it was too late. Kiri was hypnotized by the fluffiness of his ears and was absentmindedly walking forward.**(a/n: Uh-oh! What's gonna happen? Everyone knows. Duh.) **

Inuyasha was looking at Kiri like she was completely whacko. She reached out and started rubbing his white puppy ears. He started growling contentedly and his leg was thumping on the ground. _'Holy crap!' _Kagome thought,_ 'how come I can't do that?!' _

Sora was speechless. The actual Inuyasha! Damn that baka! "Okaaaaaaaaaayyyyy..."

Inuyasha finally realized what he was doing and pulled away. He cleared his throat in a dignified way. _'Damn, Kagome's never gonna let me live that down!'_

"Hey, Kagome, you coming?" Inuyasha asked.

"Where?"

"Back to my time, stupid!"

"Don't call Kagome stupid!" Sora shouted, storming up to Inuyasha, "If anyone's stupid it's you!"

Both Inuyasha and Kagome were stunned by her impulsiveness. Kiri was still staring at his ears. Inuyasha noticed, got down on all fours, and growled at her. She screamed and started running for dear life, Inuyasha not far behind. Kiri looked behind her, tripped and fell into Kagome's, shrine, rolled down the stairs, and tumbled into the well.

"Kami, I must be going insane!" Sora said slapping herself on her forehead with the palm of her hand, then chased after them, as well as Kagome.

They both held hands as they jumped into the well. A blue light surrounded them and Sora's butt hit something solid. "Ow..."

"Yeah..." Kagome said, a sympathetic look on her face, "You have to learn not to do that. Come on."

Sora and Kagome climbed out of the well to see Inuyasha, still on all fours, chasing after Kiri in the distance. "I didn't want to have to resort to this: Sit, boy!!" Kagome yelled to him.

There was a loud thud and a cloud of dust rose up into the air. While they had the chance, Kagome and Sora ran to the place where Inuyasha was "sat". They found his face embedded in the ground, but Kiri was nowhere to be found. While Kagome revived Inuyasha from being virtually unconscious, Sora was looking wildly around for Kiri. She got an idea of where she might be and told Kagome, who looked sort of freaked out. "She carries pictures of him in her pocket?!"

Sora shifted uncomfortably, knowing that she did it too. "Yeah,"

Suddenly, Sora and Kagome heard a familiar voice that said, "Is this human yours?"

Sora turned around to see a passed out Kiri slung over a silver-haired hottie's shoulder.

"The half-breed was pursuing her when she ran into me. Once she grabbed hold, I couldn't get her off until she just passed out." Sesshomaru explained.

Sora was blushing extremely pink and Sesshomaru noticed, but gave no sign of it. For some reason, her cell rang. "Cool! I get service out here?!"

She answered and it was her and Kiri's parents on the three-way. "Yeah, we decided to spend the night at Kagome's. Is that okay?"

They answered yes, so Sora thanked them and they hung up. "Hey, Sora," the now awake Kiri called, "you forgot to mention that we're in a different time-zone."

Just then she noticed Sesshomaru standing next to her, and she drooled. Sora walked up to Sesshomaru, shyly put a hand on his shoulder, and told him, "Just back away slowly,"

"Why?" he asked, "Is this human dangerous-"

At that moment Kiri had tackled him to the ground and was on top of him, tickling him. Sesshomaru's iron control was slowly breaking, and eventually he burst out laughing, to the surprise of everyone. "I don't think she's dangerous, but she had a lot of sugar today, and she may be rabid." Sora told him over his laughing.

Sesshomaru stopped long enough to say, "Now you tell me!"

Sora sighed and tried to get Kiri to snap out of it. She managed to drag her off of Sesshomaru. "Do I need to go back to our time and get a straight-jacket?" she threatened.

Kiri whimpered and said in a small voice, "No."

By then, everyone had arrived and was looking utterly confused. Kagome explained everything and Miroku gave a smirk at Sora, who looked disgusted. He started walking towards her, but she was ready for what he was about to do. "Don't...you...dare..." she gritted her teeth.

He got closer and rubbed her butt. "MIROKU!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!" Sora yelled, slapping Miroku across the face so hard that he spun around and tottered.

"That was... very nice.. of you..." he said, smiling stupidly, before he passed out.

Sango started clapping and smiled at her, and Kilala gave a small mew.

"What are you doing to Lord Sesshomaru?"

Jaken and Rin were sort of just hanging around in the background at first, but Rin had come out to meet Kiri, who was all starry-eyed at how adorable she was. "Oh, I was just...Ummmm... Making him smile! Yeah, I like to make people smile."

"Cool! I like to make people smile too!" Rin said.

"Hey, Rin, wanna see something funny?" Kiri inquired with an evil looking smirk.

"Sure!"

Kiri walked up behind Sesshomaru, who had recovered from his laughing storm, and started petting the fluff over his right shoulder, muttering, "Fluuuuuuuuuuuffy..." in his ear over and over.

At first, Sesshomaru was just looking at her like she was psycho,** (a/n: Because she is, if you haven't noticed.)** but then he got a dreamy look on his face, slumped to the ground, and started purring deep in his throat. Rin started laughing uncontrollably and Jaken looked utterly horrified, but kept his mouth shut.

Kiri let Sesshomaru get up and said, "I knew you had a soft side,"

He gave her a death glare and she backed away. _'I'm never going to get my dignity back, but that other young woman, she did not seem crazy in the least. I find it amusing that her face gets pink every time I look at her.'_ Sesshomaru thought to himself.

Sora told Kagome that her parents think that they're spending the night at her house. "I guess we're staying here for the night." Kagome replied happily, then looked at Sesshomaru to see what he would say.

He looked at Sora, who blushed again, and said while pointing at Kiri, "As long as that human controls herself, I'll stay."

Kiri was foaming at the mouth and staring at Sesshomaru again. Sora walked up to her and pulled her away, smiling at Sesshomaru. "Sorry about my friend's behavior, Lord Sesshomaru, I made the mistake of giving her coffee today."

He nodded to her, which only made her blush more, and said said with an unseen smile, "Call me Sesshomaru."

They went inside the hut and saw Kaede. She gladly gave them all food and blankets. Inuyasha was shoving his face with Ramen, and Sora and Kiri were sitting between Sesshomaru and Rin, who was asking them questions about their time. Sora kept feeling Sesshomaru glance at her, but she didn't look at him, fearing that she would get lost in his golden eyes.

Rin saw her blushing and said, "You like Lord Sesshomaru, don't you, Miss Sora?"

Sora panicked and covered Rin's mouth with her hand, but Sesshomaru heard what she said and looked away. Kiri was staring at him again. "Sesshomaru, did you just blush?! Oh my God..." she said.

"I was doing no such thing, " Sesshomaru replied.

Kiri rolled her eyes. "Suuuuuure..."

"Are you mocking me, human?"

"No," Kiri said sarcasticly, "I wouldn't make fun of the sexiest man alive."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at her sarcasm, but looked proud of himself when she said he was sexy.

Miroku edged himself over behind Kiri, but before he could try anything she turned around, started foaming at the mouth again and growled at him. He screamed like a woman and ran out outside to come in contact with a tree. He fell to the ground twitching and unconscious, but nobody bothered to get up and revive him.

Kiri turned back around like nothing happened and wiped the saliva off of her face with Sesshomaru's fluffy. He looked disgusted and took it off, giving her a really dirty look. "I'm probably going to have to burn that now," he muttered.

"Hn, not my problem, Fluff Butt." Kiri replied, uncaring.

"Fluff Butt?" Sesshomaru asked with a raised eyebrow, "Last time I checked, my butt was not fluffy."

Sango was taking a sip of tea and almost snorted it out of her nose at his comment. _'Why would he check?'_ she thought.

Everyone was trying not to laugh, including Sora, but Sesshomaru ignored it and continued eating the Ramen he was given. They eventually got a hold on themselves and calmed down. Jaken was ashamed of himself for almost laughing at his lord. "My Lord, we do not have to stay here with this human _scum._"

"Hey!" Inuyasha and Shippo said in unison.

"Jaken, would you shut up about humans for once in your life!? Kami, that's irritating!" Sora said in an annoyed tone.

Sesshomaru looked at her, confused as to why she suddenly burst out like that after being so quiet and shy. She blushed and whispered, "Sorry, I didn't mean to lose control like that," but then she got braver, "but it is annoying how you're either complaining, talking nonstop, or screaming in hysterics."

Jaken was fuming, but he was quiet. Sesshomaru decided to join in too. "Jaken from now on, if you are to speak badly of humans, you are going to get my permission. Until then, I will be the only one to insult humans. No offense to you Rin." He added, "Or Sora,"

She smiled at him and said thank you. Whether Sesshomaru knew it or not, he was starting to get fond of this human... In more than one way...

* * *

Later they all crawled under their blankets, except Sesshomaru. He was leaning against the wall in the corner by the window. His hands were behind his head to make a sort of pillow and one of his legs was slightly bent, while the other was laying straight out. His eyes were closed, but Sora knew he was awake. Sesshomaru opened one golden eye to look at her and she gasped, pretending to be asleep. He saw her and actually smiled. 

Sesshomaru looked up at the stars, not really knowing what he was thinking about.

Meanwhile, Sora was having a pleasant dream...

* * *

_"Hey, Sesshomaru! Come here for a second." Sora called._

_Sesshomaru came in the room with no shirt on. It was morning and he and Sora had just woken up. "What is it, babe?" _

_"Look what I got..."_

_She dangled a dog treat in front of his face and he started to pant. "Does the puppy want the treat?" Sora asked in a baby voice._

_Sesshomaru nodded, getting down on his knees and begging like a dog. "Sit." she said._

_He sat._

_"Lay down."_

_Sesshomaru did._

_"Roll over."_

_He looked at Sora with puppy-dog eyes, but then obeyed. "Good," Sora said._

_She thought for a moment of what to say next, then smiled. "Now... Give me a kiss."_

_Sesshomaru smiled showing his white fangs. He got up, took her into his arms, and said, "Gladly," as he looked at her lovingly. _

_Then the two kissed passionately..._

* * *

Sora woke up the next morning to feel a comforting warm sensation all around her. She didn't want to wake up yet because she liked the dream she was having, so she just turned over.

Sora felt like someone was watching her, and she opened her eyes. What she saw made her whole body melt. She was laying next to a sleeping Sesshomaru, who had his arms wrapped around her. She looed down and gasped. _She was naked! _And by the looks of it so was Sesshomaru. **(a/n: OMG! I wish that was me!)**

Sora looked back up at Sesshomaru and saw beautiful golden eyes. "Uhhhh... Sesshomaru?" she asked

"What?"

"What happened last night?"

sesshomaru looked down at her, then at himself. "Ooops... I thought I was dreaming."

"So did I." Sora said. "Oh, well."

"You mean you're not angry?" Sesshomaru asked.

Sora smiled at him and said, "Not really, but, where are our clothes?"

Sesshomaru propped himself up on one arm, looking around. "To tell the truth, I don't have any idea," he said.

"Uh-oh..." Sora said.

"What's wrong?"

She pointed at Shippo, who was staring at them open-mouthed. "Oh, crap..." Sesshomaru muttered.

Then, as fate would have it, everybody else was waking up, staring at Sesshomaru and Sora, who were smiling awkwardly, still not being able to find their clothes...


	2. Rin's Curiosity

**Sesshy's Awkward Moments**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Inuyasha** **peoples. (Though sometimes I wish I owned Sesshomaru...)**

**Summary of chapter: Rin wants to figure out some things about her Lord Sesshomaru... This is based a tiny bit off of the first story/chapter. Just a tiny bit. And if you've seen Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, a part in this story kind of reflects off of Dobby.  
**

** Chapter/Story 2. Rin's Curiosity**

* * *

Sesshomaru was leaning with his back against a tree and both his legs bent into an Indian-style position. He was looking at the grass, the only emotion visible on his face was pure boredom. Rin was watching him, and she decided that he must be doing it for a reason. 

She was just walking around, admiring all the beauty around her while picking wildflowers. Rin suddenly saw a big, beautiful Japanese bellflower. She gasped in awe and quickly plucked it up with a smile on her face. "Lord Sesshomaru!" she said while running towards him, "I got you a flower."

Sesshomaru gazed at it a moment, then took it in between his index finger and thumb. He looked at Rin and gave her a small smile, twirling the flower around in his clawed fingers. "Rin, what is this for?"

"Rin doesn't know, Rin just thought you might like it. You also seemed sad after those girls left back to their time."

It was like Rin had poked Sesshomaru in a very sensitive place. He had just began to forget about the girl that he had started to like, and Rin had to remind him, _'But' _he reminded himself, _'she doesn't know any better, it's not like I tell her everything that goes on in my life.'_

Rin looked hard into her lord's eyes and saw a glint of sadness. "Oh, Lord Sesshomaru, Rin is sorry... Did Rin upset you?"

Sesshomaru tried to smile, but Rin thought it looked more like a grimace. "No, I was just thinking."

"'Bout what?"

Sesshomaru answered without knowing what he was saying. "Sora."

"Yeah, Rin misses Miss Sora too, but she told Rin she would be back to visit."

At this remark, Sesshomaru perked up a bit. "She did?"

"Uh-huh."

"When?"

"Before she jumped into the well. Her and Miss Kiri said that they would be back." Rin said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Sesshomaru shuddered at the thought of seeing Kiri the Psychotic Fangirl again. "Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said, "Rin does not understand why you do not like Miss Kiri."

Sesshomaru pondered on how to explain how he felt to Rin. He was never that good at expressing his emotions. "It's not that I don't like her... She's just... Strange."

Rin smiled, remembering the Fluff Petting incident, then giggled lightly. What's so funny, Rin?' Sesshomaru asked.

"Rin has never heard you purr before, until Miss Kiri petted your fur. Rin thinks she's funny."

He remembered that day almost a week ago, then asked. "When did Sora say she would be back?"

"She said something about 'ten days'. What's 'ten'?"

Then Sesshomaru recalled that Rin is uneducated. "Ten is a number, Rin. It is how many fingers you have." Sesshomaru said, not being able to think of any other way to explain it.

He took Rin's small hands in his and showed them to her. She looked fascinated as he counted all of her fingers, one by one. "Does Rin have ten toes too?"

"Yes, see for yourself." Sesshomaru replied.

Rin knelt down beside Sesshomaru and counted all of her toes as he had counted her fingers, getting every number correct. _'She learns almost as fast as demons do,'_ Sesshomaru thought.

Suddenly Rin was curious of other things too, and not just about education. "Why do you hate humans?"

"Sesshomaru was taken aback by her sudden curiosity about his hatred. "Rin, I-"

"Why did you purr when Miss Kiri petted your fur?"

"She hit a tickle sp-" Sesshomaru began, but was interrupted once more.

"If you don't like humans, why do you like Sora and Rin?" Rin asked.

Jaken heard the commotion and walked over to them. "Stupid human! Why are you bothering Lord Sesshomaru with your weak human curiosity?!"

Sesshomaru looked at him like he was ready to kill him and enjoy every minute of it. "Jaken, what did I say to you a week ago?"

He realized that he had insulted humans without his master's permission. His bottom lip quivered and he started hitting himself with his staff repeatedly, yelling as loud as possible, " Bad Jaken! Bad, bad Jaken! Very bad Jaken!"

Finally he decided that he'd punished himself enough to satisfy his master and tottered away, still muttering "Bad Jaken..." every once in a while until he passed out.

Rin and Sesshomaru just had those anime-style sweat drops while watching his theatrics. "Okay, Rin, now that that's over, you may asked your questions, but one at a time, and I will do my best to answer them as I see fit. And repeat the ones you asked before Jaken started acting like a moron."

"Moron?"

"Never mind."

"Oh," Rin said, "okay, why do you hate humans?"

"No offense to you, Rin, but I believe that humans are weak and have no purpose in life."

Rin looked sort of offended and Sesshomaru said that he didn't mean ALL humans, just humans that aren't her or Sora. She looked happier and continued her questioning. "Why did you purr when Miss Kiri petted your fur?"

"She hit a tickle spot, and it felt really good."

"What kind of demon are you?"

"Dog," Sesshomaru replied.

"Do you have flea-demons?"

"No," he said with a hint of pride on his face, "I take the time to bathe and rid myself of such pests, but Inuyasha doesn't. He has a flea-demon called Myoga."

Rin laughed, then she thought of other questions that she'd always wanted to ask. "Why are you so quiet all the time?"

Sesshomaru opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again because he couldn't find the right words. He sighed. "Rin, to be completely honest... I haven't really _thought _about it."

"So Lord Sesshomaru doesn't know?"

"Nope."

Rin looked confused for a moment. She thought her lord knew everything about anything! "So, why do you not love your brother?"

"He is a pitiful half-demon. My father died protecting him and Izayoi, and it is Inuyasha's fault that he's dead!" Sesshomaru said rather loudly.

Rin's eyes widened in slight fear at his outburst. His expression softened slightly when he looked down at her big, watery-brown eyes. "What's your next question, Rin?"

"Why do you like Miss Sora?"

Again, Sesshomaru answered without thinking about what he was saying. It was like he zoned out, or something. "I think she's beautiful and smart, and she's kind to all those around her, except Inuyasha. Sora has the perfect personality in my opinion, but her friend is downright crazy."

He realized what he was saying only after he said it. _'I did NOT just tell a mere child about my romantic relationships!? CRAP!'_ he scolded himself.

Rin giggled madly and found her breath a moment later, Then she thought of a question that had nothing to do with her lord, but she was curious about it none the less. "What is 'mating'?"

Sesshomaru had stood up and was walking away, telling Rin to follow him, but his eyes got wide at this question. "Rin, where did you hear about mating?"

"Master Inuyasha said something about it after he saw you and Miss Sora in bed together with no clothes on." Rin said, "By the way, Rin would like to know _why_ Lord Sesshomaru was in bed with Miss Sora with no clothes on. Why did you do that?"

Sesshomaru tripped and fell when he heard that. He pushed himself into a sitting position once more and stuttered, "I...We were... Really, I..."

Rin was patiently waiting for her master to answer, but his eyes were still freakishly wide and his mouth was hanging slightly open. He snapped out of it enough to remember Kiri's excuse for her tickling him. "I was trying to make her smile..."

"Oh," Rin said, "That's good."

"And, trust me, she smiled all right. I'm just surprised that she was quiet through the whole process." Sesshomaru said.

"Why would she not be quiet while smiling?" Rin inquired.

Sesshomaru realized what he had just said to a 7-year-old girl! "Never mind, Rin, that is enough questions for today."

He let out a sigh of relief when she was finally quiet, but it was short-lived as she asked, "Just one more?"

"Fine."

"How are babies made?"

Sesshomaru was tired of these sort of questions so he said, "Go ask Jaken, and tell him I command that he tell you."

She skipped off to ask Jaken and Sesshomaru watched. He was a safe distance away, but being a dog-demon he heard every word.

As soon as Rin finished asking her question, Jaken started bawling uncontrollably and passed out, but Sesshomaru eventually made him tell.

Rin was wide-eyed. "Ew..."

**This one wasn't that funny except towards the end, but my friend thought that it was cute. Next chapter/story will be funnier. We'll just call my friend FluffDaddy'sGirl because will will be sharing my account. The next chapter/story will be short and sweet, but funny. It is called "Sesshomaru's Thanksgiving."**


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